hi.

So over the past few months, I’ve found that I’m controlling my thoughts more to prevent anxious meltdowns; however, instead, my productive thinking has decreased. I don’t talk out problems in my head anymore because I automatically and instinctively just tell myself to stop before the anxiety rushes in. While I have been less anxious, I think the pitfall of this is that I’m not as creative as I usually am. I’m not brainstorming or problem-solving effectively. I’m not being productive, and the internet is rotting my brain at a faster pace than it usually does.

So this begs the question: should I just let my thoughts roam free in order to let the creative juices flow? Is it, perhaps, good to live with an anxious brain sometimes? I don’t know man because anxiety is like a rumble of stampeding elephants in the pit of your belly that never goes away no matter how much chocolate you eat; so I’m not sure I want to unleash the beast quite yet, but maybe, I should take it out  for a walk sometimes? I don’t know.

-mariam

Also, as I’m writing this the dubs are playing the grizzlies for their 71st win of the season and they need 73 wins to beat the ’95-96 Bulls record and there’s a minute left in the game and they’re tied so eek.

Update: Warriors won 100-99 !

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